im not elated

im currently not elated. i hate the feeling of wasting money over something useless. how can i get rid of it?

sujud

we always said this statement 'mind your own business' or in malay 'jgn jaga tepi kain org' but sedarlah, bila ada org menyebuk tu, it means that there is still someone who cares about u especially our family n friends.

p/s: just a note for myself but sapa yg makan cili, dia lah terasa pedas.
______________________________________________________________________

enough about that.
recently, i always need to face tough times.
The day before yesterday, i went to a clinic to check on sthg.
however, the doc diagnosed that i have anemia.
weird is it? im kinda fat and i have anemia. hahaha
she said that it is becoz i've donated my blood and my hormones went up and down, that is why i'm gaining weight and some other problems too.

today, i had some much fun with tj and bonda. yeay.
however, there is no more fun once i get back.
i checked for it and the result was like a slap on my face.
im frustrated. i cried from 7pm until the minute im writing this.
although im happy my close friend got it but im still sad.
i've dreamed to bought so many things, to do charity and bla bla bla.

and i know it sounds weird but i'm listening to sujud by mawi.

end.

Programmes for Semester Break. InsyaAllah

at last.

it's here. the moment that all of us have been waiting for.

InsyaAllah, this cuti semester, programmes that im going to attend, which are:

1. Attending MAKNA introduction camp for sukarelawan
2. Camp 'Pemangkin Aspirasi' located at PD for 3 days under my faculty
3. InsyaAllah, program Anak Angkat under GPMS this december (the only club that i've joined here).
4. gathering of my schoolmates somewhere around Penang. we are still planning. after all, SP-Penang only takes around 30 minutes. hahaha. no hassle if it is last minute planned.
5. lots more. Updated soon. :)

there are few words that can best described my 3rd semester.

tiring
frustrations
busyness
sickness
hatred
lost of friends
lost of my true identity
happy? nahh, not really

After all, Praised be to God for everything. in every hardness that He gave to me, there's a silver lining.

i realized that i am now capable to move anywhere by bus. I learnt how to go to KL n other places by public transportations.
He makes me even more stronger ever since the day and i've never cried anymore after it.
i recognize which stalls sell the best food and desserts. hehe
and so on.

Frustrateness overshadowed my busyness

Yea, it's been a long time since i write here.

I've lost my passion to write blog after certain incidents.

or is it because of my hectic life? not sure yet.

currently, i feel like my head is going to blow.

too many things to be done yet so little time been provided

only God knows how i feel.

Currently, there's too many frustration too.

getting to know all the secrets are not a good decision.

it is better to know nothing about the secrets and other stuff.

rite now, im just doing my own things which i feel comfortable.

less talk means less irritation.

*sigh* *frustrates*

Sekadar Renungan

This is the meaning of istidraj which is my booster for the moment to keep holding on until this semester finished.

" Istidrajullah al-abda"(Allah menIstidrajkan hambanya) membawa erti/makna setiap kali hambaNya (insan) membuat/ menambah/ membaharui kesalahan yang baru maka setiap kali itu juga Allah akan membuat/ menambah/ membaharui nikmatNya ke atas hambaNya itu dan setiap itu juga Allah membuatkan hambaNya itu lupa untuk memohon ampun atas dosa yang dilakukan terhadapnya dan setiap itu juga Allah akan mengambilnya sedikit demi sedikit(ansur-ansur) dan Allah tidak mengambilnya dengan cara yang mengejut!

Allah s.w.t telah berfirman di dalam ayat 44 - 45 surah Al-An'am yang bermaksud:

"Tatkala mereka lupa akan apa yg diperingatkan kepada mereka, Kami bukakan bagi mereka beberapa pintu tiap-tiap sesuatu (nikmat dan kesenangan), sehinggalah apabila mereka telah bersuka ria dengan (kesenangan)yang mereka perdapat itu, lalu dengan se-konyong-konyong Kami siksa mereka, sehingga mereka berputus asa." -44- "Maka dihapuskanlah akhirnya kaum yang aniaya; dan pujian-pujian bagi Allah Tuhan Semesta Alam" -45-

Manusia istidraj - Manusia yang lupa daratan. Walaupun berbuat maksiat, dia merasa Allah menyayanginya. Mereka memandang hina kepada orang yang beramal. "Dia tu siang malam ke masjid, basikal pun tak mampu beli, sedangkan aku ke kelab malam pun dengan kereta mewah. Tak payah beribadat pun, rezeki datang mencurah-curah. Kalau dia tu sikit ibadat tentu boleh kaya macam aku, katanya sombong." Sebenarnya, kadang-kadang Allah memberikan nikmat yang banyak dengan tujuan untuk menghancurkannya.

Jadi, jika kita kaji dan fikir betul-betul, maka terjawablah segala keraguan yang mengganggu fikiran kita. Mengapa orang kafir kaya, dan orang yang berbuat maksiat hidup senang /mewah. Pemberian yang diberikan oleh Allah pada mereka bukanlah yang diredhaiNya. Rupa-rupanya ianya adalah bertujuan untuk menghancurkannya. Untuk apa hidup ini tanpa keredhaanNya?

Rasulallah s.a.w telah bersabda yang bermaksud:
"Apabila kamu melihat Allah memberikan kepada seorang hambaNya di dunia ini apa yang hamba itu suka atau berhajat, sedangkan hambaNya itu tetap dalam kemaksiatannya maka itulah ISTIDRAJ.

adakah kita didalam golongan hamba-hambaNya yang diIstidrajkan?
Renung-renungkan.

Graduation

I realized that sometimes (ok..not sometimes, most of the times) we can't satisfied everyone around us. Even if the person is our own parents, siblings, family, friends and even our pets.

But right now, im looking forward for graduation. yes i know it is still way to late but have you ever thought what will happen to us after graduation? Oh. read this lyric-Graduation by Vitamin C. I think, it answered most of the time.

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
And we would get so excitedand we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

[1]
As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
From whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

[Repeat 1]

La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

[Repeat 1 (3x)]

sugar rush

Things which currently makes me have sugar rush:

going back home
family
getting to see my old friends!!!
sg petani
ketupat
lemang
rendang
nasi impit
my granma's kuah kacang. slurrpp
upcoming open houses
baju raya!!
duit raya (which my mom ady banked in it to my account..it is actually my insurance money)
crita2 raya
and all about raya. hahaha

slamat hari raya! maaf zahir batin! safe journey home. hepi hols!

Lendu dan Rindu

Sumpah rindu Lendu weh!

H1N1

Currently: I feel bloated!
Mood: Sleepy
Listening to: -

My dad called me just now after the breaking fast, when i was about to recite surah Yassin. He said that my mom need to be quarantine at home due to the H1N1. Even my father need to be quarantine at home. My mom need to wear the face mask. Pity her. She need to take the Tamiflu, the H1N1 antiviral. The antiviral's name sounds cute, isn't it?

The good news is she went to the clinic for the second times and told the doctor all her symptoms and the doctor said that it might be H1N1. so she is not positive yet. as a precautions step, the doctor ask her to eat tamiflu. Maybe, she get the virus when she was at JB. huhu

My dad asked me to wear face mask. I told him that I've been wearing the face mask for almost 3 weeks already. Just now, i went to the bazaar ramadhan, i realized that, that is one of the place that we can get the virus and i am lucky enough because i wore the mask.

Although, i want my university to be closed, but at this moment,
Pls H1N1, pls go away!

Happy Ramadhan

Currently: finishing my assignment
Mood: Not very ok
Listening to: Skater boy-avril lavigne

The day before yesterday, a friend of mine text message me. i am very shock to hear the breaking news. The news was: a friend of us when we are in primary school past away that morning. The reason is unknown.

Yea, it is very sad. although, we r no longer in the same school in the secondary school but when i remembered all the memories together, i feel sad.

I realized that, God can easily take our live. Easy peasy. As easy as 1,2,3.

Just imagine, one of ur friend just past away. A minute ago, u just have a chat with her but after a minute, she's gone. gone forever. All the plans that have been planned together can no longer be performed together. It is more worse if at the time, we are having some fight. even a cold fight. we'll regret it but at that time, there's no more use. She's gone.

We'll regret for what we've done to her. we'll feel sorry for the rest of our life for not getting the chance to apologize to her. We'll feel a sudden lost. we'll miss her. we'll miss the chat done together. we'll miss all the fun having together, the exploration together, all the promises that now cannot be accomplished. the dreams that we always dream of.

I feel the loss. I feel terrible. but i know, i know she still with us. she'll forever be my friend. She'll never loss me and i'll never loss her. :)

Al-Fatihah to her.

Happy Ramadhan Al-Mubarak to all Muslim.